Heavensville

I live on the north side of the Ohio River, in the southern part of the state. This area is a mixture, you know, because ‘way back in the mid-1800s, Germans by the boatload crossed the ocean and headed this way. Once they got here, they proceeded to spread their names all over the land, names such as Weinzapfel and Gitleheimermeister. Well, maybe not the last one, but you get the idea - some real funny names. It was enough to make our old dead grandpas roll over in their graves.

Then, along comes that nasty old War Between the States over on the far side of the river and some people from Kentucky decided to pledge their allegiance to the place where the Germans now lived. They, too, jumped on boats and came a’calling. So, now we have people who say “Guten Morgen” and others who say “Hi y’all” ... all in the same neighborhood. On top of that, we got the “Guten Morgen” people eating their pig’s knuckles, burgoo and pork brain sandwiches and the “Hi y’all” folks savoring their catfish and hush puppies. Talk about a mess!

Well, as folks are likely to do, they intermingled. And thereafter they populated this village with little Southerners with German names! Now we had Weinzapfels eating catfish, doing hee haw dances and we also had Southerners drinking beer out of steins and using German slang. Lord a’mercy! I tell you, it’s enough to make you down right confused about who you are.

And you know what? I just heard that a whole bunch of Italian people are coming in this direction. I sure hope they are bringing their pizza and ravioli with them. Then we will really be whistling Dixie in all kinds of accents! No wonder they call this area Heavensville.