Pass the Peanut Butter!

What do your eating habits say about you? Are you what you eat? That’s what the experts say, you know.

Diets have been around almost forever. Way back in the 1830s some people advocated a bland diet, which was touted as the way to avoid gluttony and, get this - immorality. The motto was “If it’s bland, it has to be good for you.” Well, that didn’t last long. People were too fond of their salt shakers and some of the followers of this diet passed out from starvation. I bet the immorality part didn’t work either.

Then, in 1864 the first low carb diet was created. It told us to avoid starches and sugars. I guess that meant you had to avoid hard tack, but you could eat lots of goober peas. Oh wait – that’s a song, isn’t it?

It wasn’t until the early 1960s that the first honest-to-goodness, realistic diet came along in the form of Weight Watchers. This diet stressed counting all those nasty calories and the avoidance of such in order to lose weight and be healthy. Those who start the Weight Watchers diet either fall by the wayside or become fanatics. And in my book, there is nothing worse than a convert to Weight Watchers … except maybe for an ex-smoker. They are a fanatical lot, too.

The worse diet of all is the one that insists you eat nothing but meat, eggs and cheese. It leaves some of its followers with constipation, weakness and bad breath. None of those is very appealing, if you ask me.

One of my friends swears that an ounce of dark chocolate will reduce your blood pressure and relieve your stress. The only problem is she has gained five pounds so now she is on the Beverly Hills Diet and is as cranky as a constipated bear and her blood pressure has gone through the roof. Sometimes you just can’t win.

As for me, I’ll stick to my diet of Ritz crackers and Win Schuler's Bar-Scheeze and sweet tea. For dessert, just add a spoonful of Jif and you’ve got a meal fit for a queen.