I tell you, this world is full of people who are sick and dying and who desperately need my help. Two days ago I received a most urgent message from Mr. Walter Ross, who is ill with a life-threatening disease and must find someone - like me - to assist him in finding the heirs to a fortune in South African diamonds. All I have to do is send my bank account numbers and he will deposit a huge amount of cash in my bank while the heirs are being located. Once these heirs are found, Mr. Ross says I will receive $2 million to use any way I choose. Can you beat that!
Then today, Mrs. Vivian Walter, the wife of Edward Walter, wrote me that her husband, who worked with Chevron/Texaco in Russia, deposited 7.5 million pounds with a bank in Europe before he died. If Mrs. Walter is unable to activate this account, the funds will be confiscated so she urgently requests my help to stand as beneficiary of the funds. Poor woman is in a hospital in Russia receiving treatment for cancer.
I think I will hurry and write each of them a lovely, long letter and tell them no one needs that much money when they have friends who will take care of them. They can catch the next flight to my hometown. I'll whisk them right to my house and I'll take care of them ... for a modest fee, of course.